Ever feel Frustrated?

One day, as I sat on my couch I reflected upon my present day to day life, and I was FRUSTRATED! To give you a little backdrop: I (as a little girl) used to work hard to clean my room just to impress my mother, then as I got older I would work hard for good grades to impress my teachers and relatives , now as an adult I work hard to create great ministries to impress my God.

I am a type A person, driven by myself and always looking to "do". I go crazy if my life is not productive and bearing fruit for the kingdom.. I am now in search for the right job, as a temporary fulfillment till me and Tom go into full time ministry for the Salvation Army. I was offered a job at a church (and it seemed to fit) but I felt so frustrated in my spirit.
So I fasted and prayed and now I will share the passage God told me to go to and what He said:

Jonah 4

"Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. He prayed to the Lord... But the Lord replied "Have you any right to be angry?"
-at this point Jonah does not reply but goes ahead to his create an outlet for his frustration.

"Jonah went out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat down in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the Lord God provided a vine and made it grow over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine. BUT at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, "It would be better to die than to live,"

-The Lord told me clearly: "Raechel you are frustrated so you pray and when you don't get the response you want , you go out to create your own kingdoms for your own pleasure. These ministries are not from me, they are birthed from a place of anger and a discontentment with your Christianity. These ministries you build up, I will allow to bear fruit, but it will only be for your spiritual satisfaction and will NOT bear eternal fruit. "

- I felt the Lord let me know that fruit from my own desire will only fulfill my flesh. But fruit that is birthed from God's desire will fulfill His Spirit.

Christ warns us to not be deceived into building Candy Kingdoms, that look and taste sweet, but when put to the test and seen through the telescope of eternity- they have nothing lasting to them. In the last days they will be put to the fire and found as useless.
These ministries later bring exhaustion, weariness and tears of bitterness.

Wait on God. Invest in what the Spirit says to. When we keep seeking and aching for the passion of Christ, we will find the places and people that need a Savior.
pray for me. Rae