When Jesus says No
I hate hearing "no." Most of us do, more than we would admit. As kids we ask away- for this thing or that thing- fearless of the answer. But as adults we begin to pick and choose, avoiding questions we might not like the answers to, in other words: avoiding "no's."
But then there's Jesus. "Whatever you ask in my name, believing, you will receive." I like that. The deep wants of a pure heart and renewed mind, those God-centered desires; surely we can come to Jesus asking for such, confident of his yes.
But then Jesus says... no.
Ouch. Now what? Maybe get mad- or sad.
This morning I found myself in John 13. It starts with Jesus washing the disciples feet. Picture it- So intimate, so close, flesh on flesh. A tangible Jesus.
How I want to be close to you, Lord. As a professional worship leader you would think I know something about intimacy with Jesus, at least it stands to reason I would. But this morning all I could feel was disatisfaction and distance. Like talking on a telphone line, when all you really want is to be in the room with that person. It wears on you. I promise you, it does.
Just to see my Lord, feel him, know his touch, oh that's what I want...
...an encounter with Emanuel, "God with Us," darn-it!
If you read on in John13 verse 33-35 say this:
"Dear children, how brief are these moments before I must go away and leave you! Then, though you search for me, you cannot come to me- just as I told the Jewish leaders. So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."
T: Jesus, I just want to see you, I long to be where you are.
The Lord: No.
T: ...what?
The Lord: No. You can't be with me right now. Not like that. Not yet.
T: But Lord... what will I do? I desire it so much. To be in your presence. To feel you. To love you.
The Lord: I want you to focus on that feeling, that ache in your stomach, that desire. Now go outside... Now love others with it.
T: (sighing and tearful) Okay... I'll try.
Love Him? ...then love each other.
ps. I still hate "no's."
But then there's Jesus. "Whatever you ask in my name, believing, you will receive." I like that. The deep wants of a pure heart and renewed mind, those God-centered desires; surely we can come to Jesus asking for such, confident of his yes.
But then Jesus says... no.
Ouch. Now what? Maybe get mad- or sad.
This morning I found myself in John 13. It starts with Jesus washing the disciples feet. Picture it- So intimate, so close, flesh on flesh. A tangible Jesus.
How I want to be close to you, Lord. As a professional worship leader you would think I know something about intimacy with Jesus, at least it stands to reason I would. But this morning all I could feel was disatisfaction and distance. Like talking on a telphone line, when all you really want is to be in the room with that person. It wears on you. I promise you, it does.
Just to see my Lord, feel him, know his touch, oh that's what I want...
...an encounter with Emanuel, "God with Us," darn-it!
If you read on in John13 verse 33-35 say this:
"Dear children, how brief are these moments before I must go away and leave you! Then, though you search for me, you cannot come to me- just as I told the Jewish leaders. So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."
T: Jesus, I just want to see you, I long to be where you are.
The Lord: No.
T: ...what?
The Lord: No. You can't be with me right now. Not like that. Not yet.
T: But Lord... what will I do? I desire it so much. To be in your presence. To feel you. To love you.
The Lord: I want you to focus on that feeling, that ache in your stomach, that desire. Now go outside... Now love others with it.
T: (sighing and tearful) Okay... I'll try.
Love Him? ...then love each other.
ps. I still hate "no's."
posted by FREEMAN at 11:07 PM
2 Comments:
Wow! Powerful thots and truth here. It hit me square, Tom. Ouch. BIG ouch. Guess I gotta get out there and spread all that unused love I want to give God, but he keeps deflecting (for another purpose). NOW I get it!
Hi Tom,
This is profound. And I've shared your frustrations of wanting that closeness and intimacy with Jesus but feeling like I can only reach him by long distance. It poses for me some questions. If we haven't acheived that fullness of desire and singular longing for Jesus first and foremost and that experience of Emmanuel isn't real to us, might there be a danger in going out and seeking "others" upon which to pour that love? There are so many people with skewed concepts of love. How do we determine which "others" are safe vessels to receive and contain that love? Where does God's character as a jealous God fit into all of this?
I long to be secure enough in my love relationship with Jesus to not feel threatened or insecure when others clamour for that same love, and instead just rest in the truth that his grace is sufficient. No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind is fully able to grasp how wide, and how high and how deep that love really is. But the journey and quest is just as sweet.
Tara Ayer
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